this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
