Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
