so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
