oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
