similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
