If i come over, it means nothing
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i barfeds in our rink
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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