i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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