I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
