like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
