you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
