You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
