She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize