Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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