Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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