I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
