Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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