it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
