As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
