ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
