I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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