We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
