I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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