you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I supernannyed him into submission
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
