Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
