Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
