I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
