out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
