She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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