so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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