At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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