i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
