well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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