he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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