My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
