Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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