shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
