kristin has been a bad kristin
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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