Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
