ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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