Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
