I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
