He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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