If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
