just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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