If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we're making bets on your personal life
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
