I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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