the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
