That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
