ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
