So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
