if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
