you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
