So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
